|
Whenever the end of December draws near
Holiday dread turns to out-and-out fear
Too much decoration and too much good cheer
Let's get it all over and start a new year
Now as the calendar turns New Years Day
In bathrobe and slippers, at home I will stay
Eating chips by the sack, on the couch I will lay
I'll watch every bowl game and won't care who'll play
The parade has just ended, I load up my plate
The crowd starts to roar, the marching bands abate
My palms become sweaty, I can't hardly wait
To see Georgia Bulldogs playing Michigan State
The weather in Florida's sunny and bright
Both teams take the field, I think: "What a sight!"
I pump my right fist and I yell "fight boys fight!"
Then I reach for a cookie and take another bite
The players line up with the ball on the tee
The kicker kicks off and a runner breaks free
He flies down the sideline, I'm thinkin' TD!
But he's knocked out of bounds at his own forty-three
The cheerleaders dance and I'm starting to drool
They wear skimpy suits like they've been to the pool
I think to myself, "wow, now that's pretty cool
I wish I were younger, I'd go to that school"
I get off the couch, to the bathroom I stumble
Before I return I can hear the crowd grumble
I'm back just in time for a linebacker's rumble
Across the goal line off a quarterback fumble
There's a break in the action, I reach for a roll
I check CBS for the Konica Bowl
It's twenty to nothing, one team's in a hole
I watch as they miss another easy field goal
On ESPN there's a game starting soon
They're playing the anthem, I'm humming the tune
The ref with the coin is a wrinkled old prune
Out comes the captain, he looks like a goon
With my hands full of crackers, I'm busily dipping
I hear whistles blow as a tackler falls tripping
A coach sprints the field ranting, screaming and flipping
Out as the ref calls his player for clipping
The games run together as noon comes and goes
I grab the remote and I switch to the Rose
Bowl, the granddaddy as everyone knows
Where USC's playing again I suppose
It's fourth down and inches, their backs to the wall
The QB takes the snap and drops back with the ball
I jump up and scream "what a bone-headed call"
As my chips topple over, to the floor they all fall
I must have dozed off with my plate on my chest
It's halftime already, on screen there's a guest
Saying both teams are sharp and they're playing their best
And I'm thinking, "you moron, just give it a rest"
Now it's late in the day and the last game is here
The players run out and the crowd starts to cheer
I go to the fridge and I find my worst fear
My food is all gone and I've run out of beer
One team's down by six, down the field it drives
Over the goal line the running back dives
The players are jumping and giving high-fives
Just as my Pizza delivery arrives
It's been fourteen hours since that first parade float
The last game is over, I feel like a bloat
So good New Year to all, I'll sign off on that note
I hope you enjoyed the first poem I've ever wrote.
|
