One More Thing...
Facebook, Part II
by Ken Graham
Last month in this space I announced that I was preparing to join the online social networking world by creating my own Facebook page. Our paper came out on a Friday, and the following Sunday an article appeared on the New York Times website entitled "Facebook Exodus". The article described how long-time Facebook users had become disenchanted and were closing their Facebook pages in droves. Apparently, Facebooking is no longer a hip thing to do.
Well, that's about right, I thought. As usual, I'm behind the curve – sort of like when I discovered that I liked grunge music in about 2002. But it makes sense when you think about it. When middle-aged men with limited social aptitude start creating Facebook pages, you know the gig is about up.
But I did it anyway – my FB page is now there for the world to see. And it was harder than I thought it would be. For one thing, you have to go through a lot of tedious steps, filling in personal information and uploading photos. This is probably why a lot of middle-aged men don't do this. (As we went to press, I had about 35 friends, and only seven of them were male.)
Much worse though, was the way Facebook opened me up to a whole new world of social anxiety. First of all, what if I ask someone to be my friend but they don't want to be my friend? The fear that someone would think "Is he out of his mind?" when they saw my friend request, was so debilitating that I almost gave up the whole endeavor. The way I got past that was that I decided to just send "friend requests" to everyone I knew. For some reason that I can't explain, looking stupid to a lot of people is less scary to me than looking stupid to just one. (That also might explain why I keep writing this column every month.)
The other horrifying fear I had was, what if I say something inappropriate and offensive on my Facebook page? (Or on someone else's – you're allowed to write on other people's pages as well – which would be even worse.) With me, this is almost a given. About the tenth time I see someone post a picture of their dog doing something cute, I'm going to have a hard time not telling them (and thus all their FB friends) what I really think. The good thing about Facebook is that you can remove things you write if you decide later that they're stupid (unlike this column, where I can't).
One thing you definitely won't see on my Facebook page is my innermost feelings revealed. There's no chance that I'll ever post a message like: "Ken Graham is worried that Paris Hilton's new relationship might not last." For me, those deepest thoughts and fears are just too private to share with others, even on Facebook.
On Facebook, you continually receive suggestions of people to invite as friends. Many of the suggestions I get are people I barely know, and some I'm sure I've never heard of. But the odd thing is that several of the friend suggestions I've gotten are young people whose parents I know. I think the Facebook people are making a big mistake here. The last thing a young person on the technological frontier wants to see is a Facebook friend request from a vague acquaintance of her parents. Perhaps this might explain the "Facebook Exodus".
Visit & Join Facebook.com